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This has been a powerful year for me.

Through all the ups and downs, I’m getting clarity around who I am, what I want as man and what I want for my life, my heart, my soul. The days of wandering around and letting life drift me in any direction are becoming less and less tolerable as I realize I am the captain of this ship.

I’m noticing that I sometimes don’t allow myself to want things, because I either…

1. Don’t see how it is possible.
2. I feel I don’t deserve it.
3. I think that there is a limited supply of good things.
4. I let my current circumstances cloud my view.
5. I am embarrassed that what I want might sound cliché.

What’s become crystal clear is that I’ve been letting what I truly want stay hidden in the background for too long. Mostly to myself. And I’m discovering and declaring that three of my biggest reasons for being on this planet are to be a husband, a father and a man on purpose.

It’s time to keep it simple and stick to the basics.

Right now, my heart is wide open, inspired and engaged. Yet I can’t be a husband without a woman and I can’t be a father without any children.

But my wife exists. She is out there right now. Living, sleeping, eating, smiling, breathing, dancing, dreaming, singing.

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And my kids are on their way some time after that. Of course, after some years of fun with just me and my wife!

And I’m realizing that my job isn’t to worrying about how it’s all going to happen.

My job is to just BE and LIVE in the energetic frequencies of what I want and who I am as a man.

To embody the traits and actions of a good man so when reality saddles up beside my vision, the merging will be seamless. That’s a very different vibe than the single guy who not knowing what he wants or who he wants to be (and be with). I already have the traits of a good husband, father and man on purpose. The seeds are there. The more I live from that space, and take inspired action from that space, the more the Universe will present me with who and what matches that.

I made the lists below as a way for me to get clear on how I want to show up in the meantime. A manifesto for me to come back to and see how I’m doing.

So what does the vibe of what I want look like?

1. Man On Purpose

What is the vibe of a man…

• Who strives to humbly, boldly and openly to share his presence and deepest gifts with whoever he crosses paths with?
• Who knows who he is and how he wants to serve the world?
• Who strives to do what is in full integrity with his values?
• Who can accept when he messes up in work and relationships?
• Who works on his own inner challenges in service of his own expansion?
• Who asks for (and receives) support from others, letting go of the lone ranger approach?
• Who lives with a strong, open heart and leads with his raw vulnerability?
• Who continually leans into the edges of his comfort zone?
• Who knows when to surrender and trust the perfection that things are working out in his favor?

2. Husband

What is the vibe of a man…

• Who is a dedicated, loving, strong husband?
• Who cherishes his woman and is committed to co-creating a fun, sexy, communicative, spiritual, thriving partnership?
• Who loves connecting with her, diving into her world and co-exploring what makes her (and us) so amazing?
• Who is a total stand for the relationship (and for her) during the bumpy moments and frustrating conversations?
• Who finds humor and play in the simple moments?
• Who finds monogamy incredibly sexy?
• Who loves his wife as his best friend?
• Who knows how to stand up for himself when his woman is being cruel or disrespectful?
• Who does his best to not take her for granted and really gets the impact of it when he does?
• Who isn’t afraid to show raw emotions in front of his woman?
• Who still takes his wife on dates?
• Who loves his wife’s strength and power yet also loves protecting and providing for her?
• Who knows when to be the tough guy in order to make something happen?
• Who can appreciate sex as both a fun, flirty, freaky playground and a sacred union of masculine and feminine?
• Who gets solid support from his men friends so that his guy side gets nourished and he can go back to his woman fully alive and present?
• Who boldly grabs his woman by the waist, kisses her and dances with her to Marvin Gaye in the kitchen?
• Who doesn’t presume to know all the answers about love and life but is devoted to following wherever the questions lead?

3. Father

What is the vibe of a man…

• Who unconditionally loves his children and supports them in their own growth and expansion?
• Who does all that he can to be a perfectly imperfect, self-aware human role model?
• Who creates enough financial abundance to support his family and give them the opportunities to grow and live a fun, vibrant life?
• Who is a strong, flexible, humble parenting partner with his wife?
• Who will do whatever it takes to protect and defend his family?
• Who, when he’s with his kids, gives them 100% of his presence and attention?
• Who knows when to be the horsey on the floor and when to be the referee?
• Who fiercely loves his kids and teaches them to love themselves, embrace their own beauty, goodness and inner guidance?
• Who gives them the space and freedom to make their own mistakes and carve out their own path?
• Who shows up with his wife as an example of what a true, respectful, playful, expressive, devoted husband and wife look like?

To state the obvious, I am NOT a perfect, living example of all the above things. But I can focus on myself and who I am being and who I am becoming. From that, the powerful, radiant, beautiful woman who knows who she is and what she wants will not be able to resist us being together. Nor will I. The more I bask in my own goodness, the more I become a warm and bright beacon for what I want (and for her) to come to me.

I’m in no rush for all of this to happen right away and I realize that there will be some bumpy moments as I transmute from my old to new ways of being.

But I am fully loving the clarity and possibility that are here now.

“Be the man you want to be, and you’ll get the woman you’re meant to be with. So rather than focusing so much energy on how to “not be yourself” in order to attract women, start focusing inside to be the very best man you are. The source of your power is not out there. It’s an inside job. And when you’ve done a good job, inside, opportunity will start knocking. And she’ll be just perfect for you.” — Wayne Levine